On Friday you turned two. I realized about a week prior that I was really kind of sad you were no longer going to be a baby. Over the past few months you have started talking in full sentences, expressing a sort of sassy attitude, and growing out of all the baby-like features in your face. Daddy and I do not plan to have any more children so it makes me a little sad that you are growing up at what seems like alarming speed. At the same time, I am so glad that you have had a healthy and happy first two years of life. God has truly blessed our family.
As I have written to you before, I was never quite sure I wanted to be a parent a second time. After having your brother I felt like my dreams kind of crumbled because I am not cut out to be this perfect mom that I had seen on tv and in so many of my friends and family. I didn’t feel like it would be healthy for me to try again. Right about the moment that I started giving it a second thought, God gave me you. I was terrified but the moment you came along I knew this was exactly right. God made me to be your Mama, and you to be my daughter. You were such a perfect baby and have given me so much in life already. In the two short years you have been in this world you have changed my heart radically. I will never be able to thank you properly, Ellie.
The past year has been so much fun. You were a wonderful one year old. You were (and still are) so sweet. Your little voice melts my heart. Yesterday we were driving to Church and you were not all the way awake yet. You said something to me in the smallest voice you are capable of having, and I teared up. One day your voice will be so much louder, so much more like an adult. On Saturday, before your birthday party, I laid down with you. I wanted you to nap but I didn’t think it would happen, so I at least wanted us to both rest. At one point you wrapped your tiny little fingers around my fingers and rubbed your perfect little button nose against mine. You love to give me eskimo kisses and I hope you never stop. In that moment I was content. I knew nothing could ever break my spirit.
I love the way you and I pray each night. You always let me say the prayers, sometimes saying one word here or there, and then you say “Thank you, Jesus. I love you, Jesus. Amen!” It’s adorable. And it’s our thing. Mine and yours. Many people in our lives are critical because you sleep in the bed with me and Daddy. Honestly I used to be judgmental of people who did this, but I would never change it. I love snuggling with you. One day you won’t want to snuggle. One day you will not even want me in your room. These days are ours together and I will cherish them.
The past 6 months changed my daily patterns because I mostly work from home, except when traveling. I love that I get to wake up and make you breakfast. I love that we get to play. I love that I get to comfort you when you get hurt. I don’t even mind breaking up the fights you and Noah sometimes have. (Okay, sometimes I mind.) I am so grateful God gives me this time with you and your brother.
Ellie, you are going to be so smart, so personable. I worry you will run the world, one day. I want you to be successful but I want you to be happy more than anything. If I could give my younger self any advice it would be to not rush life. You are still young enough that you don’t have this problem yet. But, you are a lot like me. You are already acting way older than you really are. Slow down, sweet girl. There’s so much down the road and it will wait for you.
Ellie, you are beautiful. You have a good heart. You want to take care of all the babies. Even the ones that are older than you, and just look younger. You love animas. You love people. You are going to be a great friend to many people. You have an infectious smile and a twinkle in those blue eyes that warms people’s hearts. You are going to move mountains, my baby girl!
Two is going to be fun. Bubba will be going to school in the Fall and that means we get to hang out together during the day. I really look forward to that (even though I am heart sick thinking of your brother going to school). Our family has so much to be grateful for, so much in store for us. It’s going to be a fun ride, the next twelve months. I am so gad you are in our family. You truly complete us!
Elliot, I love you. Daddy loves you. Our entire family loves you. Happy birthday, sweet angel baby!